A letter to Robert Walpole

I was recently asked to write an RP report on the recent happenings in Pirates of the Burning Sea. Unfortunately, it turned out they were looking for a straight journalistic report, rather than anything too fancy. But in the interests on never wasting anything, I may as well post my first unfinished draft (the only draft there shall ever be, now) of it here.

Sir Robert Walpole,

His Majesty’s Chancellor of the Exchequer of the Kingdom of Great Britain,
First Lord of the Treasury

Sir,

I pray that this epistle finds you in good health, and enjoying your new role, and that the recent business with the South Sea company has not caused you any personal hardship. Myself, I was fortunate enough to have already moved all my financial stocks into the West Indias, though that was happenstance rather than any foresight on my part. In time I am sure that the economy of our Nation shall be revivified, and once again be the marvel of the modern age! Certainly, we shall never again fall into the trap of speculative “bubbles”.

For our part, here in Port Royal, we have scarcely even noticed the passing of the South Seas Company, bar the heavy financial blow the Mississippi Company took from it. The East India Company goes from strength to strength, and I would council it as a sound investment, at least until my own company becomes listed at Change Alley!

The French have finished the reconstruction of their local capital, Pointe-à-Pitre, and I am told it is a majestic sight indeed! With the finest gothic architecture transplanted from Europe, it may well become one of the most popular destinations for travellers and sight-seers. This will not do at all, and so I am pressing the East India Company for more funds for the rebuilding of Port Royal to an equal or greater splendour. It is a shame that our hands are bound by treaty, else we might well look to acquiring Pointe-à-Pitre for the crown.

The Astronomer Royal, Sir Isaac Newton, said recently, so the dispatches tell me, “that he could not calculate the madness of people”. If such a man as he cannot, then what chance your humble correspondant? The recent decision by your Parliament to return all captured holdings in the West Indias to Spain and France, has made many here wonder if the House has been paying the slightest attention to our struggles, the sacrifices in bone and oak, through which those ports had been won. I, of course, do not number amongst such people, and continue to be your most obedient servant, but I most surely hope that you gained the greatest of concessions in return, for the loss of those lands has placed us in a perilous place indeed.

As I write, a report lies beside my inkpot. In hurried hand, it tells of a rogue fleet of that most insolent of knaves, the false King William Kidd, which is harrassing our northern territories with newfound impertinence. Spain and France too, once again eye us hungrily. Their perfidy is immeasurable, and I expect, nay dread, the arrival of dispatches with news of their latest act of infamy. I beseech you to send whatever forces may be spared, that our flag may continue to fly over these lands for the greater glory of our illustrious Nation, and his most exceptional Majesty, King George.

God Save the King!

Arkenor Oakshadow, Chairman of the British Council of the West Indias.

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