In which I am indignant at he who must not be named.

I dislike personalising disagreements. Sometimes though, the behaviour is so outrageous that avoiding that isn’t an option. This is one of those times. There is a gentleman, a maker of games, who has been quite unpleasant to some fellow bloggers I’m somewhat fond of. If you’ve spent 5 minutes in the MMOverse, then you’ll know who it is I mean. He is an expert is personalising arguments, so it is hard to not do so in return. My life has left me with a profound dislike of bullies who throw their weight around, and the inclination to stand up to them.

It is said that if you blog his name three times he will appear. And threaten to sue you. Frankly I don’t need to have to listen to his silly self-aggrandising nonsense here.

Anyhows, by way of venting, I present a brief guide to arguing with people on the internet:

1. Make sure you point out how small and unimportant the person you are talking to is. How their blog/website/magazine isn’t read by anyone, how they never made awesome games, and that they’re a bunch of no-life nerds. Question their intelligence and integrity. The smaller you make your opponent, the mightier you’ll look in comparison, provided nobody wonders why you are wasting your time on these mosquitopeople.

2. If something bad has occurred, blame an underling. Force that underling to post an excruciating account of how everything is their fault, and how you should fire them. Make sure they point out how awesome you are. Remember, the credit is yours, but the buck stops anywhere else.

3. The best form of defense is attack! Claim the people who pointed out the bad thing you did to be the real villains, who desire nothing more than to bring down the giant of the industry that is you. Pay no heed to whether they or their colleagues have written rather generous positive posts, or even support your attacks on their fellow bloggers. Bridges are to be burned. You don’t need those nerdy gaming writers anyway. Not when you can just copy other people’s press releases.

16th of May Update:

4. If someone accuses you, with absolute proof, of plagiarising the words of Developer B, accuse Developer B of plagiarising from Developer A at location X. Make sure you insult your accuser’s journalistic integrity for not discovering this before posting. Even though Developer A was never AT location X, and has no recollection of saying it. Making stuff up about your fellow developers is just as fun as making stuff up about bloggers! (Awesome work there, n3rfed!)

4 comments to In which I am indignant at he who must not be named.