John McCain. Doing the Thing. With his tongue.

This is not photoshopped. John Sidney McCain III, when startled, reverts back to his gargoylic ancestry. It is particularly effective at frightening away all manner of witchery and evil spirits. Sadly, it is less effective on debate moderators and political rivals. Of course, Obama, being the Antichrist, is immune anyway.

Although you cannot tell from this picture, special glands in John McCain’s neck and back would also have released a foul tasting mucous designed to deter predators and investigative journalists. While this seldom proves useful in and of itself, many of McCain’s supporters enjoy the hallucinogenic effects they can experience by licking him.

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