Ark's Ark » Amusing Nonsense http://www.arksark.org/blog Massively Multiplayer Online Gaming, Current Affairs, and Random Stuff! Tue, 03 Jan 2012 19:10:32 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Richard Garriott’s Plan For An Army of Robot Clones Enters a New Phasehttp://www.arksark.org/blog/5150/richard-garriott-s-plan-for-an-army-of-robot-clones-enters-a-new-phase/ http://www.arksark.org/blog/5150/richard-garriott-s-plan-for-an-army-of-robot-clones-enters-a-new-phase/#comments Thu, 10 Mar 2011 16:55:11 +0000 Arkenor http://www.arksark.org/blog/?p=5150

OK, the Geminoid robot is (probably) nothing to do with Richard Garriott, though it does look rather like him in my opinion!

What does fill me with terror is that robots have developed facial-hair technology. A fine moustache, as everybody knows, renders you almost unstoppable. Such realistic robots could be amongst us, even now.

Richard Garriott’s Plan For An Army of Robot Clones Enters a New Phase is a post from: Ark's Ark

Related posts: Richard Heene – The Singing (Science) Detective Fairytale, The Winner of Eurovision 2009!

Richard Garriott’s Plan For An Army of Robot Clones Enters a New Phase is a post from: Ark's Ark

]]> http://www.arksark.org/blog/5150/richard-garriott-s-plan-for-an-army-of-robot-clones-enters-a-new-phase/feed/ 2 In which the Animal Kwackers lurk within my subconcious, waiting patiently for this day.http://www.arksark.org/blog/3924/in-which-the-animal-kwackers-haunt-my-nightmares/ http://www.arksark.org/blog/3924/in-which-the-animal-kwackers-haunt-my-nightmares/#comments Sun, 17 Oct 2010 14:51:53 +0000 Arkenor http://www.arksark.org/blog/?p=3924 I had forgotten them until this morning, when I decided to google exactly where a phrase I use often, “Rory! Rory! Tell us a story.”, came from. Google provided, and for the first time in thirty years I heard their theme tune, and it all came flooding back: The Animal Kwackers.

Made from 1975 to 1978, the Animal Kwackers show was an attempt by Yorkshire Television to replicate the success of the Banana Splits. It failed.

Oh gods!!! What [...]

In which the Animal Kwackers lurk within my subconcious, waiting patiently for this day. is a post from: Ark's Ark

]]> http://www.arksark.org/blog/3924/in-which-the-animal-kwackers-haunt-my-nightmares/feed/ 1 Question: Is Notch the Zoology Dragon?http://www.arksark.org/blog/3854/question-is-notch-the-zoology-dragon/ http://www.arksark.org/blog/3854/question-is-notch-the-zoology-dragon/#comments Sun, 03 Oct 2010 21:27:45 +0000 Arkenor http://www.arksark.org/blog/?p=3854

It’s an important question that just occurred to me while I was contemplating the universe in the bath. This song pre-dates Minecraft by several years, but there are a number of striking similarities. Most notably that both Notch, creator of Minecraft, and the Zoology Dragon invent animals THAT ARE MADE OF CUBES!!! They have even both worked on the Cubification of Cows.

Cow. Cube. Cowuube.

Perhaps it would be best if we take the Zoology Dragon’s warnings seriously, [...]

Question: Is Notch the Zoology Dragon? is a post from: Ark's Ark

]]> http://www.arksark.org/blog/3854/question-is-notch-the-zoology-dragon/feed/ 0 Anatomy of a Horse-boyhttp://www.arksark.org/blog/3550/anatomy-of-a-horse-boy/ http://www.arksark.org/blog/3550/anatomy-of-a-horse-boy/#comments Thu, 24 Jun 2010 12:42:15 +0000 Arkenor http://www.arksark.org/blog/?p=3550 Panic is sweeping the streets north of the border, as the good folks of Aberdeen awake to a new threat. A creature with the head of a horse, and yet the body of a boy, stalks the streets fearlessly by day. Behind locked doors they whisper the name “Horse-boy”.

We’re no strangers to paranormal investigation here at Ark’s Ark. So it is that I can reveal, after painstaking research, that Horseboy does not in fact have the head of a [...]

Anatomy of a Horse-boy is a post from: Ark's Ark

]]> http://www.arksark.org/blog/3550/anatomy-of-a-horse-boy/feed/ 0 The “Creepy Gnome” is unmasked!http://www.arksark.org/blog/551/the-creepy-gnome-is-unmasked/ http://www.arksark.org/blog/551/the-creepy-gnome-is-unmasked/#comments Wed, 24 Mar 2010 22:59:01 +0000 Arkenor http://www.arksark.org/blog/?p=551 This is an old post from a couple of years ago, but I thought it might provide some small entertainment to newer readers.

There have been a number of incidents recently, in Argentina, involving a being known as a “Duende”. This has been badly translated for English media as “The Creepy Gnome”. In a number of appearances, including two caught on film, he has created hysteria wherever he goes. While he has yet to cause any physical injury, [...]

The “Creepy Gnome” is unmasked! is a post from: Ark's Ark

]]> http://www.arksark.org/blog/551/the-creepy-gnome-is-unmasked/feed/ 0 Johnny Depp is not dead.http://www.arksark.org/blog/2317/johnny-depp-is-not-dead/ http://www.arksark.org/blog/2317/johnny-depp-is-not-dead/#comments Sun, 24 Jan 2010 13:03:32 +0000 Arkenor http://www.arksark.org/blog/?p=2317 Part 2 of a series wherein my friends inform me someone is dead, and I tell them that they are not. This time they actually had posts on semi-legitimate media to point at. But nevertheless, he is not dead.

That the alleged CNN report that everyone keeps sending me (and that I won’t link to) is hosted on an Angelfire server might have been a bit of a clue. It’s no wonder phishers do so well.

Johnny Depp is [...]

Johnny Depp is not dead. is a post from: Ark's Ark

]]> http://www.arksark.org/blog/2317/johnny-depp-is-not-dead/feed/ 0 The Best Way to Raise your Alexa Ranking. A Most Ingenious Paradox!http://www.arksark.org/blog/1463/the-best-way-to-raise-your-alexa-ranking-a-most-ingenious-paradox/ http://www.arksark.org/blog/1463/the-best-way-to-raise-your-alexa-ranking-a-most-ingenious-paradox/#comments Tue, 08 Dec 2009 02:41:15 +0000 Arkenor http://www.arksark.org/blog/?p=1463 The Alexa Ranking theoretically determines how popular your website is, out of all the websites in the world. It does this by extrapolating from the behaviour of users who have the Alexa plug-in installed to their browsers. For instance, this humble stop along the internet superhighway is currently the 520,865th most popular by Alexa’s rating, though it fluctuates fairly wildly. That sounds pretty awful, but there are a heck of a lot of websites out there, so it actually ain’t [...]

The Best Way to Raise your Alexa Ranking. A Most Ingenious Paradox! is a post from: Ark's Ark

]]> http://www.arksark.org/blog/1463/the-best-way-to-raise-your-alexa-ranking-a-most-ingenious-paradox/feed/ 0 The Pi Song. An endless horror is brought to you today by the letters H and A. And R, D, N, P, I, and M. And the number Pi, in an impolite act of recursiveness.http://www.arksark.org/blog/1121/the-pi-song-an-endless-horror-is-brought-to-you-today-by-the-letters-h-and-a-and-r-d-n-p-i-and-m-and-the-number-pi-in-an-impolite-act-of-recursiveness/ http://www.arksark.org/blog/1121/the-pi-song-an-endless-horror-is-brought-to-you-today-by-the-letters-h-and-a-and-r-d-n-p-i-and-m-and-the-number-pi-in-an-impolite-act-of-recursiveness/#comments Wed, 20 May 2009 21:37:07 +0000 Arkenor http://www.arksark.org/blog/?p=1121 Warning. This song will haunt both your days and your nights. I reveal it unto you, only that I may have company in the asylum, once this has run its unnatural course.

When ink and pen in hands of men Inscribe your form, bipedal “P” They draw an altar on which God has slaughtered all stability. No eyes could ever soak in all the places you anoint And yet to see you all at once we only need the [...]

The Pi Song. An endless horror is brought to you today by the letters H and A. And R, D, N, P, I, and M. And the number Pi, in an impolite act of recursiveness. is a post from: Ark's Ark

]]> http://www.arksark.org/blog/1121/the-pi-song-an-endless-horror-is-brought-to-you-today-by-the-letters-h-and-a-and-r-d-n-p-i-and-m-and-the-number-pi-in-an-impolite-act-of-recursiveness/feed/ 1 Pooh’s Flu Songhttp://www.arksark.org/blog/1079/pooh-s-flu-song/ http://www.arksark.org/blog/1079/pooh-s-flu-song/#comments Fri, 01 May 2009 21:32:19 +0000 Arkenor http://www.arksark.org/blog/?p=1079

My thanks to Pooh and Piglet who generously gave their time to help me with this PSA. The fight against today’s disgraceful lack of handkerchief ownership goes on!

Not entirely sure what I made this for, but when Pooh starts whispering in my ear, I can do naught but follow where he leads. Maybe it’ll be useful to a parent explaining why we need to use tissues. Or maybe it’d terrify the wee mites.

Pooh’s Flu Song is a [...]

Pooh’s Flu Song is a post from: Ark's Ark

]]> http://www.arksark.org/blog/1079/pooh-s-flu-song/feed/ 0 Dan Aykroyd and his magic vodkahttp://www.arksark.org/blog/994/dan-aykroyd-and-his-magic-vodka/ http://www.arksark.org/blog/994/dan-aykroyd-and-his-magic-vodka/#comments Sun, 29 Mar 2009 23:43:59 +0000 Arkenor http://www.arksark.org/blog/?p=994 Of course, some would say all vodka is magic. Me, I prefer gin, in my never-ending quest to resemble a Hogarth etching.

Dan has done his work. I don’t normally drink vodka, and I still want some! Everything tastes better from a crystal skull. Or so I have been lead to believe.

Dan Aykroyd and his magic vodka is a post from: Ark's Ark

Related posts: Magic Dolphin Bubbles!!! A brief timeline of Elemental: War of Magic

Dan Aykroyd and his magic vodka is a post from: Ark's Ark

]]> http://www.arksark.org/blog/994/dan-aykroyd-and-his-magic-vodka/feed/ 0 Ms Pac Man makes me feel old.http://www.arksark.org/blog/788/ms-pac-man-makes-me-feel-old/ http://www.arksark.org/blog/788/ms-pac-man-makes-me-feel-old/#comments Mon, 01 Dec 2008 03:34:46 +0000 Arkenor http://www.arksark.org/blog/?p=788 Yes, it is December once more, and as usual, Matt over at X-Entertainment has succeeded in making me feel nostalgic for the days I spent as a teenager in the US. The UK never really had a lot of video game advertising on the television, but in the US during kids TV, we were barraged with everything from Nintendo, to Atari, and then back to Nintendo again, because actually that’s pretty much all there was. Every game was presented as [...]

Ms Pac Man makes me feel old. is a post from: Ark's Ark

]]> http://www.arksark.org/blog/788/ms-pac-man-makes-me-feel-old/feed/ 0 And now a word from TASER®.http://www.arksark.org/blog/188/and-now-a-word-from-taser/ http://www.arksark.org/blog/188/and-now-a-word-from-taser/#comments Sun, 13 Jan 2008 18:08:09 +0000 Arkenor http://www.arksark.org/blog/2008/01/13/and-now-a-word-from-taser/ Hey there TASER® fans! Your standard TASER® may be excellent for delivering 50,000 volts to the sentient being of your choice, but while you might feel good, do you look good?

Introducing the C2 TASER® fashion range, featuring a choice of hip-looking instruments of agony. Is your target spasming because of the volts, or just because he had hoped leopard-print went out with the 80′s? Who cares, as long as he spasms!

Also available in Red Hot, Fashion Pink, [...]

And now a word from TASER®. is a post from: Ark's Ark

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