In which I receive a letter.

Got a reply from Charles Clark, my MP and the Education Minister regarding Cook’s allegations:

Dear Neil Frankham,

Thankyou for your comments. I do not believe that the Government is guilty of misleading the House, but I am nevertheless grateful for your views.

Charles

Short, sweet, and entirely predictable. Of course, he was part of the cabinet meetings that discussed the matter, so he might have valuable insight. Or he might just be covering his back and towing the party line….

The letter I sent is a few posts below.

Date with Destruction.

Meanwhile, over in Operation Iraqi Freedom…. The Independant reports:

US soldiers driving bulldozers, with jazz blaring from loudspeakers, have uprooted ancient groves of date palms as well as orange and lemon trees in central Iraq as part of a new policy of collective punishment of farmers who do not give information about guerrillas attacking US troops.

The stumps of palm trees, some 70 years old, protrude from the brown earth scoured by the bulldozers beside the road at Dhuluaya, a small town 50 miles north of Baghdad. Local women were yesterday busily bundling together the branches of the uprooted orange and lemon trees and carrying then back to their homes for firewood.

Nusayef Jassim, one of 32 farmers who saw their fruit trees destroyed, said: “They told us that the resistance fighters hide in our farms, but this is not true. They didn’t capture anything. They didn’t find any weapons.”

Other farmers said that US troops had told them, over a loudspeaker in Arabic, that the fruit groves were being bulldozed to punish the farmers for not informing on the resistance which is very active in this Sunni Muslim district.

“They made a sort of joke against us by playing jazz music while they were cutting down the trees,” said one man. Ambushes of US troops have taken place around Dhuluaya. But Sheikh Hussein Ali Saleh al-Jabouri, a member of a delegation that went to the nearby US base to ask for compensation for the loss of the fruit trees, said American officers described what had happened as “a punishment of local people because ‘you know who is in the resistance and do not tell us’.” What the Israelis had done by way of collective punishment of Palestinians was now happening in Iraq, Sheikh Hussein added.

The destruction of the fruit trees took place in the second half of last month but, like much which happens in rural Iraq, word of what occurred has only slowly filtered out. The destruction of crops took place along a kilometre-long stretch of road just after it passes over a bridge.

Farmers say that 50 families lost their livelihoods, but a petition addressed to the coalition forces in Dhuluaya pleading in erratic English for compensation, lists only 32 people. The petition says: “Tens of poor families depend completely on earning their life on these orchards and now they became very poor and have nothing and waiting for hunger and death.”

The children of one woman who owned some fruit trees lay down in front of a bulldozer but were dragged away, according to eyewitnesses who did not want to give their names. They said that one American soldier broke down and cried during the operation. When a reporter from the newspaper Iraq Today attempted to take a photograph of the bulldozers at work a soldier grabbed his camera and tried to smash it. The same paper quotes Lt Col Springman, a US commander in the region, as saying: “We asked the farmers several times to stop the attacks, or to tell us who was responsible, but the farmers didn’t tell us.”

Informing US troops about the identity of their attackers would be extremely dangerous in Iraqi villages, where most people are related and everyone knows each other. The farmers who lost their fruit trees all belong to the Khazraji tribe and are unlikely to give information about fellow tribesmen if they are, in fact, attacking US troops.

Asked how much his lost orchard was worth, Nusayef Jassim said in a distraught voice: “It is as if someone cut off my hands and you asked me how much my hands were worth.”

Fascist bastards. Bush’s stormtroopers using the tried and tested SS technique of punishing an entire community. And demeaning jazz in the process. Terrorism (though I dislike the use of the word in the situation of Iraq. Asymetric warfare, shall we say.) is the last resort of the desperate, and the hopeless.

As mentioned below, this is the sort of news I really oughtn’t to read. My hands are twitching to get around the throat of the nearest US soldier. Luckily, there aren’t any in my living room at the moment, and by the time I walked to Fakenham airbase I’d have cooled down.

I can’t help feeling that there is probably something in the Geneva Convention about not doing this sort of thing.

Bush’s military record.

Aaah, sorry for the absence. Sometimes, if I read too much news, I get into the sort of state where I don’t want to get out of bed for a few days.

Anyways, today I found something cheery. Bush’s military records. AWOLBush.com has a pretty nice set of documents, all released under my old pal, the freedom of information act.

Arnold. In power.

Arnie Wins California

Yes:54% No: 46% with 96% of precincts reported.

If you listen real close, you can just about hear the lamentation of the women…

The Rapture.

Via Skimble, an offer from Rapture Letters:

From Skimble: After Bush policies bring about the End Times, his faith-based constituencies will disappear from the earth via The Rapture. Thanks to a new service called Rapture Letters, they will be able to send free email from their privileged positions in heaven to the rest of us infidels left behind.

The rapture: When all the believers in Jesus Christ, who have been born again, are
taken up to heaven.

After the rapture, there will be a lot of speculation as to why millions of people have
just disappeared. Unfortunately, after the rapture, only non believers will be left to come up with answers. You probably have family and friends that you have witnessed to and they just won’t listen. After the rapture they probably will, but who will tell them?

We have written a computer program to do just that. It will send an Electronic Message (e-mail) to whomever you want after the rapture has taken place, and you and I have been taken to heaven.

If you wish to do something now that will help your unbelieving friends and family after the rapture, you need to add those persons email address to our database. Their names will be stored indefinitely and a letter will be sent out to each of them on the first Friday after the rapture. Then they will receive another letter every friday after that.

This rapture letter service is FREE and will hopefully gain the person you send it to an eternity in heaven.

While it is probably true that there will indeed be speculation when these people dissappear, I expect it will be closely followed by a massive party, then world peace.

Delivering Terror to your Door

So, you’re building a WMD, but you’re not sure where to source all those tricky tools, and the all-important protective gear?

No problem! RummyMart has everything you need. We even deliver!

The US Defence Department could inadvertently be providing terrorists with the equipment to make chemical or biological weapons, say congressional investigators.

They found the Pentagon was not properly monitoring internet sales of its equipment and so was unable to determine who was buying it and how it was being used.

The House Government Reform Subcommittee on national security – which requested the inquiry – will examine the findings on Tuesday.

“The Department of Defence should not be a discount shopping outlet for would-be-bio terrorists,” said subcommittee chairman, Representative Christopher Shays.

Investigators set up a shell company to find out how easy it is to buy laboratory equipment from the Pentagon.

Using a website that sells the surplus gear, they bought centrifuges, evaporators, bacteriological incubators and protective clothing – all of which could be used to make chemical or biological weapons.

The report by the General Accounting Office says the equipment was both easy and economical to obtain.

They found that in numerous cases surplus kit was re-sold to unknown buyers in countries where terrorists have operated, such as the Philippines and Egypt.

The Pentagon regularly sells surplus equipment, and the instruments bought by the investigators are commercially available.

“The cheap, virtually unregulated availability of low-cost biological laboratory equipment poses a risk to national security,” said Mr Shays.

You heard it folks! The General Accounting Office calls us “Easy and Economical”! Shop RummyMart today!

Bacteriological incubators. For sale at your local Department of Defense. I can’t think of anything funny to write about that. I think I’m going to go to bed, in the hope that when I wake up I’ve slipped back into my own parallel universe, where things make sense. *Sigh*

Arnold. In Bed.

And just in from Greg Palast.

While the California press is reluctant to challenge the Austrian dumbbell lifter on anything more significant than his palm print on some females’ behinds, one reader of our report below confronted Schwarzenegger. Friday, at a staged event in front of the Von’s supermarket in Bakersfield, Referring to the disclosure in my column (which would have been well known to the candidate by that time), she shouted, “He’s in bed with Kenny Lay, you idiots! It’s your money!” There was dead silence for a beat, then came the voice through the loudspeakers, “I suhtunly wasn’t in bet wit YOU!”

The world watches, awestruck.