Ark's Ark

And the answer to the title question is “No. Probably not”. But MMOs have been drawn into the elaborate web of not very good lies that are the adventures of John Darwin. If you’re not familiar with the John Darwin saga, it is truly a gift that keeps giving. It is a sad example of what happens when two rather stupid people start thinking that they’re a great deal cleverer than they actually are.

Last year I posted about the bizarre way in which he was caught.

Now it has been revealed, for reasons I’m not entirely certain of, that Mr John Darwin was torn from his wife by an MMO! Maybe they’re trying to take their revenge out upon the Google and its internet friends for its role in bringing them to justice. The BBC reports from Anne Darwin’s trial:

Mrs Darwin said her husband turned secretive when he joined an internet role-playing game.

She said: “It was like a virtual world which was played over the internet.

“The people who played it became characters in this world and they had money to buy and sell things and they used to cast spells on each other.

“He became rather cagey when using the headphones and speaking into the computer if I came into the room. It was obvious he was in conversation.”

Mr Darwin later flew out to Kansas in the US to meet a woman, who his wife believes he met while playing the game.

I know I’d totally love to play a game in which “The people who played it became characters in this world and they had money to buy and sell things and they used to cast spells on each other. ” She makes it sound kind of like Tron, but with MAGIC, thus making it extra-awesome.

While he had headphones, there is no mention of him having a microphone. Given that Teamspeak and Vent are a bit confusing to set up properly even for non-idiots, it is possible he was just playing Baldur’s Gate 2, and had a crush on Jaheira. (Hands off, Darwin. She’s mine.)

It’s unclear from the BBC report whether this took place before he faked his own death, or during the period where he was supposed to be dead, but in fact was living next-door to his wife, visiting her via a secret passage, disguised by a false beard. Not knowing when it happened makes it hard to figure out what game they’re talking about. Either WoW or one of the Everquests, I’d guess.

I’ll update when we know more!!!

Update: It seems that Mr Darwin’s online adventures took place after he faked his death in 2002. The trip to Kansas was to visit a lady he met in the game by the name of Kelly Steele. Far from being a femme fatale as I had initially suspected, it seems that she was in fact just one more victim of his bizarre schemes:

Having made contact with Kelly Steele, a mother of three from Kansas, while playing an online role-playing game, Darwin persuaded her to buy a 20-acre ranch in her name using £25,000 he sent her.

He told Mrs Steele, 41, his wife had died of cancer, he had made a fortune on the stock market and had always wanted to be a cowboy.

When he flew to Kansas to see the property he asked Mrs Steele if she knew “some single girls in Kansas who want a rich husband”.

He later demanded his money back and sent Mrs Steele threatening emails which left her in fear of her life. “He is the creepiest, oddest and most frightening man I have ever met,” she said later.

He travelled to Kansas in 2004, probably ruling out World of Warcraft and Everquest 2 , which were both released in the final two months of that year, which makes Everquest the most likely culprit. Dark Ages of Camelot, and Ultima Online are also possibles. I don’t see him as the type to be playing anything more off the beaten track than those three. I could be wrong, of course!

Update:

According to local Kansas media it was Everquest. John Darwin played a druid. Bet he wishes he could SOW in real life too.

It turns out the MMO connection was in fact revealed back in December 2007 in the News of the World. I’m surprised it didn’t get mentioned on any of the MMO sites I read, though I applaud all of us for having no idea what the News of the World says about anything.

Update: The Evening Standard is claiming the game Darwin was playing was Asheron’s Call. There are no druids in Asheron’s Call, so I suspect it is talking nonsense.

I’m quite excited about this one, for several reasons.

Finally architects will have their deeds returned to them after showing them to the trainer. As each tier 1 deed costs 125 silver to make, having to make an entire set just to advance was incredibly expensive for small guilds. Although I’ll have to go back and make some deeds I already used, it’s still going to reduce our costs massively.

The first of the player city improvements have arrived. Although we don’t have enough buildings in our own city to really show much difference, within our temple has appeared a trainer who can reset our feats, making the place at least feel slightly occupied, and potentially useful. Like the siege merchant, and the trader, she spawns lodged in the floor, which is a bit of a problem. As I’ve said many times to newbie Morrowind modders, “Always spawn the floor first!!!!”.

Not had a chance to check out the new caravan routes for quick travel that have appeared. I’m hoping there is one that goes to the Fields of the Dead, as having to hike across Conall’s Valley was getting on my nerves!!! I guess that’s odd considering I used to be happy to spend hours getting from Ak’anon to Qeynos, but that was a very different style of game, and perhaps my patience has diminished with age. I’ll be out looking for one of the Totems of Origin soon as I have some sort of idea where to find one.

Update: Turns out we might be the lucky ones, not having enough city buildings to get many NPCs. Reports are coming in of elite player city guards going *crazy*, rampaging through the streets slaying their betters. Beware!!!

The Patch Notes for the Age of Conan 17th of July Update continue below:

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From the Telegraph:

The American leader, who has been condemned throughout his presidency for failing to tackle climate change, ended a private meeting with the words: “Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.”

He then punched the air while grinning widely, as the rest of those present including Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy looked on in shock.

Mr Bush, whose second and final term as President ends at the end of the year, then left the meeting at the Windsor Hotel in Hokkaido where the leaders of the world’s richest nations had been discussing new targets to cut carbon emissions.

He’s not even bothering to pretend any more. The world is counting the days til he’s gone, and we can get things back to some degree of sanity.

Seeing as we have no footage of this incident, lets take a trip down memory lane and revisit one of President Bush’s other great foreign diplomacy hits.

This is first patch to have spent some time on the Testlive server before being released. Due to this, hopefully from hereon in there will be an increased level of stability in the updates.

Update: Another set of update notes came out later in the day, consisting of items that were missed from the first notes. For ease of use, I have consolidated the two sets.

One socially important change is that interfering in other people’s fights will reduce the amount of xp that they receive. You should not interfere unless asked. It would be useful if a “yell for help” button were to be implemented, to make it clear when help is desired, as folks rarely have time to type requests during a losing fight.

Age of Conan patch notes for the 10th of July continue below:

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I’m a bit late on this one.

Will the addition of insurance (though it’s more of a rebate than insurance, really) have the desired effect of increasing the amount of consensual PvP? Lets hope so, as with Pirate PvP starting at 3000 unrest now, there are going to be a lot of red circles around.

The 1.5.46 PotBS patch notes are below:

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Christopher Hitchens is a man who I find profoundly irritating most of the time. He has perfected the art of arrogance to the level that even when he is saying something I agree with (It’s about 50:50), I still mostly want him to shut up. He has frequently been an apologist for Bush’s interventionist policies, and the ensuing misery that perpetuates from them. However he is nothing if not a complicated man, and he was recently willing to put himself through something pretty unpleasant for a piece in Vanity Fair. I hope his experience, and his conclusions, will inform his future pronouncements.

You may have read by now the official lie about this treatment, which is that it “simulates” the feeling of drowning. This is not the case. You feel that you are drowning because you are drowning—or, rather, being drowned, albeit slowly and under controlled conditions and at the mercy (or otherwise) of those who are applying the pressure. The “board” is the instrument, not the method. You are not being boarded. You are being watered. This was very rapidly brought home to me when, on top of the hood, which still admitted a few flashes of random and worrying strobe light to my vision, three layers of enveloping towel were added. In this pregnant darkness, head downward, I waited for a while until I abruptly felt a slow cascade of water going up my nose. Determined to resist if only for the honor of my navy ancestors who had so often been in peril on the sea, I held my breath for a while and then had to exhale and—as you might expect—inhale in turn. The inhalation brought the damp cloths tight against my nostrils, as if a huge, wet paw had been suddenly and annihilatingly clamped over my face. Unable to determine whether I was breathing in or out, and flooded more with sheer panic than with mere water, I triggered the pre-arranged signal and felt the unbelievable relief of being pulled upright and having the soaking and stifling layers pulled off me. I find I don’t want to tell you how little time I lasted.

The interrogators would hardly have had time to ask me any questions, and I knew that I would quite readily have agreed to supply any answer. I still feel ashamed when I think about it. Also, in case it’s of interest, I have since woken up trying to push the bedcovers off my face, and if I do anything that makes me short of breath I find myself clawing at the air with a horrible sensation of smothering and claustrophobia. No doubt this will pass. As if detecting my misery and shame, one of my interrogators comfortingly said, “Any time is a long time when you’re breathing water.” I could have hugged him for saying so, and just then I was hit with a ghastly sense of the sadomasochistic dimension that underlies the relationship between the torturer and the tortured. I apply the Abraham Lincoln test for moral casuistry: “If slavery is not wrong, nothing is wrong.” Well, then, if waterboarding does not constitute torture, then there is no such thing as torture.

If waterboarding is neither torture nor bad nor dangerous, then any public official that supports it should be willing to go through a similar experience to Mr Hitchens. As he pointed out himself, with a safe word and knowing he’d be tucked up in his own bed at the end of the day, it only hints at the awfulness that the real thing must offer after days of sleep deprivation, casual brutality, and not knowing when or if you’d ever see your family again, let alone a lawyer. If an official refuses to try it out (as they would if they have any sense), surely that is an admission that it is dangerous and cruel, and thus illegal.

That was depressing. Let’s end with a song!

A small patch with no new content. I’m intrigued to see that they plugged holes in the walls of the player cities in the resource zone. Currently such cities are not attackable, to my knowledge, with sieges being restricted to the Border Kingdoms, so why need to worry about their walls? I wonder what they’re planning with the PvP update that’s coming up.

I’m actually too busy to play at the moment, but will be back in action from tomorrow. Libraries don’t build themselves!

Player Classes

Mage

* Tome of Erlik now has effects and sounds.
* Purge now has sound and particle effects associated with it and should now go on the appropriate cooldown. Purge now provides 5 seconds of immunity in addition to removal of effects.
* Misdirection now has received a better visual and should no longer look like a lightning strike.
* Weakened Protection will no longer refresh itself after the player cancels his own Absorb buff.

Rogue

* Mountaineer, Distraction, and Concealment effects are now innate in the feat and will not take up space in the Rogue’s buff window. They will still provide a buff to the Rogue’s teammates.
* Distraction will now properly apply to the Rogue’s teammates.

Bear Shaman

* Reaper Claws will no longer disappear when you zone.

Conqueror

* Feint Attack combo animation speed will now scale correctly for both male and female. Now the male and female should do equal damage.

Necromancer

* The splash damage of the Deathless Acolyte: Magus has been increased from 10% to 30%, with 4 meter range and a maximum of 5 targets
* The Deathless Acolyte: Reaper and Deathless Acolyte: Arcanist now have 30% splash damage with 2 meter range on a single additional target
* The Deathless Acolyte: Arcanist’s chance to trigger the Arcanist’s Knowledge has been doubled
* The Arcanist’s Knowledge effect will now display the current stack count in the buff GUI
* Casting Frost Blast will no longer cause the Necromancer to get stuck in a casting animation
* Flash Freeze now additionally decreases the casting time and increases the damage of Freeze
* Freeze will now clear the target of all Necromancer damage-over-time effects when cast, this will reduce the chance of it breaking accidentally on damage
* Ice Shackle no longer has a chance to break on damage
* The debuff effect applied by Wither Soul should now have the appropriate icon

Combat

* Thrown weapons have had their range increased: Light throwing weapons now have a range of 15 meters, up from 12. Heavy throwing weapons now have a range of 18 meters, up from 16.
* Generic NPC crowd control effects have been tweaked. Resistances from feats and other player effects should now help against NPC crowd control. Stun, knockback, charm, and fear will now grant the player immunity.

Massive PvP

* Battlekeeps now have resurrection points for the attackers, that are located near the front gate of the city.
* Fixed an issue that disabled Siege Weapons if the target was out of range.
* NPC’s will properly respawn when a building is repaired.
* Players are now able to use a siege weapon after the player using it has gone linkdead.
* Players now get a notification when they are about to get teleported out during a Massive PvP battle.
* Damaged playerbuilt curved walls now have correct collision so they can not be walked through before they are completely destroyed.
* Lacheish Plains: Several holes have been closed in the West Battlekeep so players can no longer bypass the walls there.
* Poitain: Several holes have been closed in the West, South and East Battlekeeps so players can no longer bypass the walls there.

Mounts

* Moving around while mounted should now correctly interrupt spell-casting.

Items

* Fixed a tooltip error on the crossbow Skysmite causing the bonuses to be illegible.
* The recipe for Steelsilk Belt has been changed to Fine Steelsilk Belt.
* The recipe for Steelsilk Leggings has been changed to Fine Steelsilk Leggings.
* Selling a gemmed item to a shop and undoing the sale will no longer remove the gems.

Playfields

Armsmans Arena

* Doors should no longer be targetable in the Arena.
* Fixed an issue where players managed to get locked inside the monster cages in the Arena. You should now be able to get out using the Lever.

Lacheish Plains

* all the levers for each door in Stonehammer battlekeep should now work properly.

Tradeskills

* A progress bar will appear whenever gemcutting is performed.
* Crafted armor pieces no longer incorrectly have more defense rating than normal pieces of armor.
* Resolved a level check for the response to give when character is below level 70 and tries to learn gathering Oak.
* The Weaponsmith workshop plan can now be correctly learned from the Architect trainer.
* Blue Iron can again be mined from the correct mineral veins.

Quests

* Stonecutter Trainer: Fixed a dialogue issue so the trainer will now accept Basalt and Adamant to resolve the quest.
* Cannibal Commotion: Fixed an issue where Attadeus would become stuck and not allow you to update the quest.
* The Bearer of Ill Tidings: The Field of the Dead quest “The Bearer of Ill Tidings” and “Allies of the White Hand” are now level 48.
* The Den of Wolves: The goal name was changed from “The Den of Wolves” to “Kill Plains Wolves”.
* The Wolf Hunt: The goal name was changed from “The Wolf Hunt” to “Kill Yukagi Wolves”.
* Death to the Undead: The goal name was changed from “Death to the Undead” to “Destroy Conriocht werewolves in the Haunted Forest”.
* Greater Prey: The goal name was changed from “Greater Prey” to “Kill werewolf Rippers, Antagonizer, Slasher and Slicers”.
* The Curse of the Werewolves: The goal name was changed from “The Curse of the Werewolves” to “Kill Conriocht Menaces, Slayers and Goremuzzles”.
* Fit for a Chieftain: You will now correctly receives the item ‘Fur of Bloodclaw’ in the quest inventory.
* Attack of the Savages: An issue where the goal text was not clear has been changed to “Kill Raiders at the Guard Post”.
* Castle of King Conan: Pallantides now doesn’t display an exclamation mark over his head unless you can get the quest from him.
* Tortage: Renton should now have one coherent look as opposed to changing look between quests.
* Paetus & the Nemedian Crown III: Gavion now gives the player the map and letter back when he ask the player to go talk to King Conan about this treason. Players will need to delete their old quest “Paetus & the Nemedian Crown III” and speak with Gavion again to continue this quest line.
* Lusts of the Flesh: You now get a cask of Tainted Ale to give to Tuthmekri. Players who want to finish this quest will have to delete it from their quest journal and get it again.
* Master of the Silver Peacock: Vistrix now finaly gives in and surrender his teeth on defeat. You are now able to complete this quest, and thereby advance to The Black Ring Citadel.
* Alchemy quests: The dialogues with the Alchemy trainer should now all work correctly and give and complete the needed quests.
* Common Gems II - Return to the Gemcutter: The quest can now be completed by handing over the needed gems to the trainer.
* Tear 2 gathering quest - Return the Illustrium: The quest can now be completed by handing over the illustrium to the trainer.
* Woodcutter quest: Players will now be able to get the ‘Gathering Oak’ quest when having the correct level.

NPC

* Tarantia Noble: Zhu-Khang no longer has flickering clothing.
* Armsman’s Tavern: Sarissa’s upper chest should no longer go through her dress.
* Tortage Jungle: Poacher Marksman should no longer shoot invisible arrows at players.
* Eiglophian Mountains: Added two vendors to the Mountain Hunting Lodge.
* Conall’s Valley: The Gravesinger now has an improved look that fits more with the description of him.
* Conalls Valley: Supply Master Vorgir has been given a slight makeover and should look better now.
* Tortage Underhalls Day: NPCs will now respawn slightly quicker than before.
* Lacheish Plains: Tiggle Knucklebone has been removed from the playfield to stop players from confusing him as a Trader.
* NPCs will no longer inappropriately recieve player buffs such as Lotus Overload, Blood Pit, Embrace Death, Overpower, and Pact of Dread.
* Vendor bought resources have been reduced in price.
* Sanctum of the Burning Souls: It is now possible to spawn the Dark Beast boss just by interacting with the Sacrificial Altar while holding a Ritual Chalice. The specific quest requirement has been removed.

Localization

* French: Many of dialogues that were still in English have been translated.
* all languages: All Feats, Special Abilities, Skills, Spells and Combos have been reviewed are now fully and consistently translated.

General

* Updated/improved descriptions of following abilities/feats/combos: >From the Darkness, Overpower, Blood Rage Stance, Secondary Laceration, Crippling Bloodbath (Crippling Bloody Hack), Improved Inspire, Focus, Burning Vigor, Covenant of Invulnerability III,
Focus, “Secondary Laceration” changed to “Conquest”
* Players will now be able to exit Dance state while in combat.

This latest update has caused the servers to become a bit unstable. The new Alchemist’s Cache item appears to have been responsible, and has been deactivated, but the server instability is persisting. The issue is being worked on.

The Update notes for the 26th of June continue below:

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With no patch last Thursday, we’ve been treated to a doublesized beast of a patch today.

Bags, including the pre-order bag, have been increased in size. I can’t tell you how much of a stress-reliever this is going to be for me, at least until I fill up all my new slots with snacks and potions. It’s just a small change, but comes under “quality of life”, and will make a lot of people happier.

Heading into the game to check out the other changes. I’ll report back.

Update: I’m getting a slightly improved framerate after today’s patch. Not found any of the new Khopshef quests yet. They do seem to have moved some of the Khopshef spawns around a bit, and added a few new bosses (unless I was truly unobservant before, which is entirely possible.)

Update: Located a new quest chain from the undead fellow at the back of the Treasury of the Ancients. Reports on the forum are that the quest line is not working properly right now, so probably best to wait before paying him a visit.

The Age of Conan update notes for the 23rd of June continue below:

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Another impressively large patch for the beginning of the week. By patching twice weekly, Funcom is now really making excellent progress through the backlog of issues that need to be addressed.

The most notable change, for myself, is the increasing of resource stack sizes to 1000. This will allow us to consolidate our many stacks of sandstone and other goods, freeing up much space in our resource inventories. In fact (Not that this was an issue for us), it was impossible to create a tier 3 Keep until this change, as nobody could hold all the resources required!

Update: Seems I might have misunderstood what that change was about. Sandstone still only stacks up to 100 :( I think the change must just apply to items like bricks and joists. This still makes tier 3 buildings possible.

Update: Undocumented feature! (And it’s a good one this time!) Player City Tradeposts have a new occupant. A fully functional Trader NPC! Time to start working on building my guild’s second structure, I reckon. This one belongs to our mysterious neighbours.

Age of Conan Patch Notes for the 16th of June continue below.

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