Free Realms May 19th/20th/21st Update notes.

Ooh, new content!!! It seems to be mostly member-only (which I am anyway), but I guess that’s OK for now.

Our latest update has a ton of new stuff. Here are the highlights:

* There are new members only combat, non-combat and collection quests added across the world (see below for details).

* Bristlewood now has its own warpstone

* Added in several new in-world minigames to Seaside

* Pets will stay happy, clean and fed for longer and will also find collection and mining nodes more often

* We’ve continued to optimize video card performance to allow lower end cards to have higher frames per second in game

Members Only Quests have been added to the following areas:

Merry Vale:
* Ronnie Britesmile is not allowed to play until he finishes his chores. He might give you something cool if you give him a hand!

* If you’ve already found Mugwopp for Blorple at the Greenwood Camp, he’ll have a new task for you.

Briarwood:
* Recruit Agga afraid of getting lost in the hedge maze. Help him piece together a map.

Farnum’s Farm:
Rucks, the farmhand, has thrown down the gauntlet and has a series of challenges for skilled harvesters. Dare you take him on?

Pixie Nursery:
* Blazing Star and Flax thought that if they put a collar on their pet fish, no one would take it from the pond, but it’s gone now! Help them find out what happened.

Wuagachug:
* Tugaboom would like a brave fighter to help him solve the rebelling Bixie problem.

Shrouded Glade:
* Cella Cedernook found a baby penguin and need help caring for it. “*Squeel!* It’s so cute!”
* Meanwhile, Emil Jadefish and friend had a little boating accident. They could really use a hand!
* Tald Daybreaker’s friend is lost up in Misty Mountains. Are you brave enough to rescue him?

Sanctuary:
* Auralie wants to invite the queen to her next party, but is too shy to ask. Can you help her deliver the invitation?
* Feldman wants to be a famous journalist, but need help gathering more information for a story he’s working on.

Blackspore Swamp:
* Sirdo “Squirrel Chaser” is embarrassed about his nickname. Would you be willing to help him out so he can overcome his bad reputation?

Seaside:
* Rainchaser has more challenges for you.
* Kendall, the lifeguard, needs someone quick to help him out.
* Mr. Mudd is sickened by the trash on the beach, but has a fun way of cleaning it up.

New combat quests:
If you’re a member see if you can help out the following people:
* Spruce Waynehammer’s pet, Robin, keeps getting lost in the Bat Caves.
* Susy Cloudrunner by the Briar Patch has a big bear problem.
* Yuri Petaldancer by the rebelling Bixie Hive wants to taste what royal honey is like.
* Blari wants to cure the sickly saplings in Bristlewood Glade, but isn’t strong enough to fight off the creatures there.
* Vasher claims he’d like to recover some old explorer bones from Cracked Claw Caverns so he can give them a proper burial.
* Buttercup Webbywand’s spider was kidnapped by trolls in Grexan’s Camp.
* Help Puck Petalpucker near Misty Mountain ace his science project.
* Johnny has an idea for you to try out at the Mushroom Cavern.
* Jimmy Squarefeet’s snowman friend has been kidnapped! Seek him out in Snowy Canyon.
* Jenny Greenteeth wants to plant some friendly plants in Treeleaf’s Retreat.

Bonus Update Notes for the 19th of May. It didn’t deserve its own post at the time,

Pets

* Members can now try/buy the ghost cats and dogs located at the Blackspore Pet Adoption Center.
* Players can rent Max the Lazy Dog at the Blackspore Pet Adoption Center.

Treasure Vault

* The Member’s Only Treasure Vault has received extensive improvements.

The Pi Song. An endless horror is brought to you today by the letters H and A. And R, D, N, P, I, and M. And the number Pi, in an impolite act of recursiveness.

Warning. This song will haunt both your days and your nights. I reveal it unto you, only that I may have company in the asylum, once this has run its unnatural course.

When ink and pen in hands of men
Inscribe your form, bipedal “P”
They draw an altar on which
God has slaughtered all stability.
No eyes could ever soak in all the places you anoint
And yet to see you all at once we only need the point
Flirting with infinity, your geometric progeny
That fit inside you oh so tight
With triangles that feel so right.

3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459

Your ever-constant homily says flaw is discipline
The patron saint of imperfection frees us from our sin
And if our transcendental lift shall find a final floor
Then Man will know the death of God where wonder was before.

Yeah, I know this Pi shit backwards and forwards.
Check it out!

I did three chicks then I pointed at the door
A girl entered in so that made it four
I snapped one time in came another five
Add ’em all up and that makes nine
The average age 26.5
Now that’s what I call gettin’ some pi
Five of the chicks wore 6-inch heels
Two of the nine squealed like seals.
514 was the area code
Quebec, Canada my winter abode
And my 1.3 million dollar chalet.

Pi backwards, pi forwards, all night and all day.

3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640
6286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359
40812848111745028410270193852110556

By Hard ‘n Phirm.

Colbert Report, 11th of May – 14th of May 2009

Continue reading Colbert Report, 11th of May – 14th of May 2009

Free Realms May 12th Update notes.

They didn’t give us full patch notes this time, but we did get a list of highlights:

* Members will now have an increased chance of encountering rich mining nodes

* Member potions and spheres are once again being distributed in-game

* The Marketplace now has a Members Only category

* There are several new items in the Marketplace

* The Briarwood warpstone is once again active

* A pet adoption center has been setup in Blackspore

* Base Ninja health has been increased across all ranks

* Contract: Life and Death Magic and Contract: That’ll Teach ‘Em are now repeatable quests

* The Changelings in Darvon’s Descent are no longer able to keep the artifacts they stole from showing up on the minimap. Players on the quest Stolen Artifacts should have an easier time locating them now.

* The quests “I Love Mushrooms” and “A Thorny Situation” can now be completed

* At the end of a kart race, Portraits, Total Time and Placement now appear properly

* The quest path will now properly update when selecting quests in your Quest Journal

* The lightning bolt bomb powerup is much more zappy than before! It will now blow up enemies from greater distances!

* Quickchat is now available from the Friends list

* Players will now be removed from the acquaintance list once they are added to the Friends list

In addition to the highlights, we’ve stomped out a lot of bugs submitted by our players. Thanks a lot for your help!

Colbert Report, 4th of May – 7th of May 2009

Up to date again! Ish. We’re on a roll! Continue reading Colbert Report, 4th of May – 7th of May 2009

Jade Dynasty Cinematic Trailer

This was just announced, and is going to be headed in beta soon. I adore anything based on ancient China, so I’ll certainly be checking it out. The good guys will be followers of Taoism and Buddhism traditions, so I might be able to recreate my old Taoist Priest D&D character :) I hope there are some hopping vampires too!

Free Realms! + Free Realms May 6th Update notes.

Yes indeed! In the absence of any other MMO I much feel like playing at the moment (though there are quite a few incoming) I have jumped aboard the FreeRealms bandwagon. As I already had an SOE Station Access account, I get FreeRealms membership included on that which allows me to access some extra content over the free version, so I figured I might as well give it a try.

It’s rather fun! While I am not sure there is enough there to satisfy the hardcore gamer for long, even after it loses that new-game shine I can see me popping in to play my favourite minigames. My favourite so far is Penguin Produce, which is a penguiny take on the old game where you build turrets to destroy successive waves of evil-doers, to prevent them from reaching your tower. I’ve not had so much puzzley fun since Yo Ho Ho Puzzle Pirates!

Free Realms update notes for the 6th of May are after the jump.

Continue reading Free Realms! + Free Realms May 6th Update notes.