As usual these days, there are a ridiculous number of different combinations of bonus items you can get, depending on who you order from. I went for the Direct2Drive Digital Deluxe option.
I was a little torn, as the TNG and Deep Space 9 uniforms offered by some retailers would have been nice, but this settled it for me:
Exclusive “KHAAAN!” Emote
An unforgettable moment from the second Star Trek Film. This exclusive emote allows players to relive Kirk’s unforgettable moment of fury, with the timeless cry… “KHAAAN!â€
That will never get old. NEVER!!!! KHAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This might also be fun, for an alt. Cap’n Arkenor Oakshadow will be a human, most likely.
Joined Trill Race
The ability to play as a “Joined Trill†– a symbiote that grants you several lifetimes of experience.
Open Beta starts on the 12th. I’ll be sure to report on how things go.
I have returned to the fine city of Norwich, and am working through the thousands of emails that demand my attention. After all, all that Viagra isn’t going to order itself. This mail particularly amused me:
A few months ago I posted a little report on Evony that received a rather staggering amount of attention. I hope I’ve saved at least a few people from getting involved with iEvony, their disturbingly inquisitive application.
Since then, Evony has mostly stopped advertising here, helped along by my blocking every advert URL I could discover. But there is a new contender in town. One that offers oriental exotic gameplay. One with an equally nonsensical name.
Enter the Dragon! Enter Kingory!
In Kingory’s favour, at least its advertising campaign has yet to devolve to Evony’s level of simply having a picture of an ample cleavage, and the word “Play”. Though they have been up to their usual copyright-infringing tricks, roping Chun-Li and Kung Fu Panda in to advertise for them.
So, what is Kingory like? Lets load it up and take a look!
The Kingory City Screen
Hmm, that looks slightly familiar.
The Evony City Screen
Ah yes. Let’s try that again shall we?
The Kingory Farm Screen
The Evony Farm screen
Kingory is a reskin of Evony. (Or it is from our point of view. Kingory in fact appears to be an English translation of a Chinese game that predated Evony. Evony was a reskin of that for western audiences.) Same buildings and troops, occasionaly renamed to fit the setting. I would say, in its favour, that it does look better, and I don’t immediately see any in-game graphics that have been stolen from anywhere, though I am quite willing to believe that is simply because I never played the game it was nicked from.
Kingory does also add a new feature: Your heroes can be equipped with items you find during your adventures. Apart from that, everything, from the quests, to the wheel of fortune, to the excrutiatingly slow gameplay that tries to tempt you to spend real-world money on in-game currency to speed things up, is the same. Success is still determined by your willingness to outspend your opponents. If I had to pick between Evony and Kingory, I’d take Kingory, but then I’m a big fan of the ancient orient genre. Luckily I don’t have to pick one, and I denounce them both as being dull.
How these guys can afford to plaster their adverts so thickly across the internet is a mystery to me. Can they really be the highest bidding advertiser so often, or are they somehow gaming the system?
At least Kingory seems to be keeping its advertising relatively classy for now. There was a big backlash against Evony’s oversexed ads, so it is perhaps not surprising that UMGE are choosing to play this shell game. Rumour has it that there are even more Evony reskins doing the rounds, but I’ve not been unfortunate enough to encounter them yet.
Doing the Freeport side of the “Attack on the Crowns” World Event was proving to be a bit much for Maltheas. While he could, with an acceptable risk of dying, manage to get to Sir Tallen Yevix in West Freeport, he had no chance of getting into the heavily guarded Academy of Arcane Science to see Researcher Kendril. Not without some Frostfell Magic!
And amazingly, even though yesterday he had ten days to wait until he was eligible for the year 6 veteran pack, today it mysteriously became available. Having acquired the extraordinarily useful ability to teleport to a group member let our fearless ratonga bypass the guardian gargoyles and undead, and appear right next to the Researcher, who was eager for assistance. Though sadly not so grateful that he would tell the guards not to beat him up on the way out…
Malth made short work of finding the parts to Tinmizer’s Magnificent Messenger (slowed only by the one hour cooldown on Call of the Veteran), and being a master tinker, was even able to impress Sir Yevix by assembling the gadget for her. Whereupon we used it to contact Lucan, and find out where the heck he’s gotten to.
Turns out he’s gotten himself kidnapped by person or persons unknown. The smart money is on the Void. Sir Tallen managed to locate Soulfire’s hiding place and undertook to find it, to ensure its safety. Rather rudely, she refused to let Maltheas come with her. This would not do, as Maltheas had business of his own in the Overlord’s office. Fortunately, Researcher Kendril owed him a favour, and it was not long before, for the second time in his life, he stood within Lucan’s chambers. The last time he had been there, to assassinate the Overlord (that didn’t go so well), he had noticed something that bore further ….. investigation.
It was the deliciouses!!!
After having a quick nibble, he set to work stuffing several hundredweight of finely aged cheese into his bag of holding. The bulk of this was to be distributed to Ratonga families who had been driven into exile by Lucan for refusing to serve him. Revenge would be delicious, served hot or cold! Also, Maltheas’ annual Frostfell fondue party was assuredly going to be a big hit this year!
The important job dealt with, Sir Tallen arrived, and while she was a little annoyed Maltheas had managed to get there before her, she instantly forgave him, and set to work finding Soulfire. She seemed to have given the whole business quite a lot of thought! Even the room suddenly filling with Soulfires did not slow her down terribly much.
So confusings!!
Once she found the genuine Soulfire she declared herself the true ruler of Freeport, meaning that Lucan had been betrayed at least twice in one day. That’s Freeport for you, and entirely to be expected. Maybe she’s being possessed by a minion of the Void, but she didn’t seem anywhere near unpleasant enough. Actually she seems a lot nicer than Lucan, and unlike Lucan, actually likes Maltheas. We’ll have to see if we can persuade Queen Antonia to rethink trying to find the Overlord, though I suspect the Royals are going to stick together.
Seeing as the real Soulfire had already been stolen, Maltheas yoinked one of the fake ones to put on his wall, next to his replica Qeynos Claymore. It’ll make a great novelty cheese-knife for the party.
This week me’s have mostlys been defendings the shinies Qeynos city from mean Void nasties. Apparently everybody elses was unavailables.
This was the ending-results. Her Royal Highness (who should not leaves the house dressed like thats. She’ll catch a colds!), saved from a perilous fate by a mere Ratonga (yay!), after her Kerran (tee hee!) Captain of the Guard (*mirthful squeak!*) got possesseds by a spooky royal ancestrous rude ghost and tried to do her the mischiefs. We were too lates to prevent him stealing the Qeynos Claymore, a powerful magicy artifact that is the very very importants. Me’s not sure whys this sword, and hateds Overlord Lucan’s blade, Soulfire, are wanteds by the voids like they made of cheeses.
The writings on the swords is in Void Glyphs, which sniffs a lot like a clue to mes. Anyhowses, it looks like they’ve gots it, and whiles I’s the go-to rat for the existential threats these days, I doubts they going to sends mes into the void to go gets it.
Don't worries, Murrar Shar fans! He still breathings!
So I decideds to go save Frostfell. But then I be doings that every year. This year thoughs, while teachings McScroogle not to be sendings junkmails and not be sos McScroogley, I noticed somethings:
What is McScroogle doing with the Qeynos Claymore?
I’s been findings you’s sword, your Majestys!
Though knowings that McScroogle, it’ll be turnings out to be the cheaps unlicensed knock-offs made by underpaids gigglegibber goblin.
