Anatomy of a Horse-boy

Panic is sweeping the streets north of the border, as the good folks of Aberdeen awake to a new threat. A creature with the head of a horse, and yet the body of a boy, stalks the streets fearlessly by day. Behind locked doors they whisper the name “Horse-boy”.

We’re no strangers to paranormal investigation here at Ark’s Ark. So it is that I can reveal, after painstaking research, that Horseboy does not in fact have the head of a horse. Also, we don’t think that he’s a boy. The truth is far more terrifying.

We can clearly see, in the picture taken at 6 Hardgate, that the Horse-boy entity is clutching a brown object in his hand. Whether it was recently removed from an actual demon-eyed horse or is just made of papier mache is unclear at this time, but over the next couple of pictures we see Horse-boy hurriedly place it over his own head. Cleverly he has tried to draw attention away from the real mystery. Observe, as we follow his actions on the Hardgate road as captured by the Google Street View car as it unsuspectingly drove towards him.

Arks Ark Anatomy Of A Horseboy

A Horseboy Driveby

Did he distract you too? Don’t feel bad if he did. Not everybody’s senses are as highly attuned to the supernatural as ours.

HE DOESN’T HAVE A FACE!!!!

Horseboy Has No Face

He really doesn't!!!

That’s right. It is clear to us that this.. this creature put the mask on so that we would not notice that his head is a featureless mass of flesh. But it is worse, much worse than that. Further research through Google Streetview records reveal that these faceless monstrosities are all around us. Perhaps, like certain other entities, they are invisible to the naked eye, or use strange mental powers to create the illusion of facefulness to those nearby. These powers would not work on someone viewing a photo, of course.

Sadly, Google have not yet released the data that would show if Horse-boy, and those like him, are natural wi-fi hotspots. We know this information was collected. If so, it is possible they could be harnessed for the good of humanity.

What is to be done? Well, we have not ascertained as to whether Horse-boy and his friends are any real threat, though their numbers are disturbing. Perhaps they have always been here. They’re almost certainly less annoying than the Owlman, and less terrifying than the Creepy Gnome, so for now, we suggest caution and further study.

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